Tuesday, February 24, 2015


Every year I set high goals for myself.

The goals are technically achievable, not accounting for any depressive episodes, general other sicknesses, personal budget crises or miscellaneous life mishaps. 

Every year I don't achieve the goals and I beat myself up. 
"I'm a failure" I tell myself. 
"I will have to do TWICE as much next year to make up for my lack of life progress".

This is not only nonsense, but it is a very destructive cycle.
I put so much pressure on myself to be "successful" (whatever that means).
I'm constantly striving for GREATNESS.
Because if I'm not IMPRESSIVE then what's the point of anything??

Now greatness is great, but okayness is far more achievable.

After the return of my depression towards the end of last year, I have decided that this year I will set one goal for myself:

Just get by.

Because my brain is in a constant state of panic, telling me I need to be doing THIS THING and practice THAT OTHER THING and work on bettering EVERY SINGLE THING... this is challenging for me, but very important.
There's nothing wrong with "just getting by".

It's okay to be okay.

now if you'll excuse me...

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Getting better.

I am working on getting back to (and maintaining) "okay".

It's still takes a lot of energy. Most of my energy. Most of the time.
But at least I'm trying.

My depression does not go away. 
It is always with me, but that does not mean I am always suffering.

I'm working on a few drawings about "being okay".
"Being okay" is so underrated. 
There's so much pressure on "being happy".
I really wanna talk more about "okay".
Because in comparison to depression,"okay" is a truly glorious state of bliss. 
Even though it's not exactly the best (happy), it's better than the other thing.