Age 11, Treading water. Age 12, Drowning.

Age 11.

I find it harder to settle at night.

As soon as the night starts to go quiet I feel nauseas.

The quieter my surroundings, the louder my thoughts, the more my stomach turns.

The doctor tells my Mum I have an anxiety disorder.

Age 12.

Sometimes during the day, I find myself suddenly unable to take a breath.

I realise at that second that I never really learn to breathe. It just happens.

I try to remember how, but there's no memory of a lesson on how to breathe. 

It's just supposed to happen. 

So when it suddenly stops happening, an overwhelming dread takes over my body.

I'm dying. 

I'm standing in the middle of the street, drowning.

This is a sensation I will experience for years to come.

These are my panic attacks.

Thank you Caitlin (pictured)

The Big Update Part 3: The Assignment

I made something wonderful. 
Something I've wanted to make for a while but haven't had any reason to.Which is no excuse really, you shouldn't need a reason to create something wonderful.

But I did have a reason, and so I was able to bring an idea to life, which is the most wonderful feeling a crazy creative person can have.

We were given an assignment at College 2 weeks ago. 

The task was to design a film poster/album cover/book cover/record cover of our choice, and we had to hand make the feature element of our design. 

So basically, get away from the computer and make something with your hands... remember your hands? When they're not clicking or typing they can do OTHER STUFF!!! I totally forgot that!

Now some of you may know I have a soft spot for Audrey Hepburn, and most of you probably know I that love flowers very much.

So I decided to create a film poster for My Fair Lady: The story of Eliza Doolittle, a Cockney flower girl who takes speech lessons from professor Henry Higgins, a phoneticist, so that she may pass as a well-born lady. It's pretty funny actually. 

So for the handmade element of my design,  I made a ball gown like skirt out of flowers.

And now I get to show you the lovely piece I made. 

Due to terrible self esteem, I'm rarely pleased with my own creations. 
This time though, I am so thoroughly in love with this creation.

Even though I was terribly sick when I had to make it, it felt so good to be creating something.

The shabby skeleton of the skirt.
Milk crate to hold it up, cheap hula hoops to make the skirt shape.
Then a lot of sculpting wire, guttering mesh & cable ties!

Here's a lovely photo of my sick, sick face.

Threading and tying flowers to wire.  I think that's chocolate or vegemite on my arm.

Nearly Done.

Finishing touches.

I used a mix of flowers, the main flower used was Geraldton Wax in orange, Pink, yellow and white.

The dress.

The silhouette I traced.

This is what it ended up looking like. The type package I made is a bit messy. Might fix that later.

The finished assignment

The lady that made this project not a horrendous failure.
My super amazing supportive Mum, who had a blast with me in the studio.
We both love flowers and just hanging out in general. Perfect combo.

Remember how I said I was grossly sick?

Hey little guy.

It's Sunday, let's talk.

First of all: Happy birthday to this fine specimen, The wild Kri Kri, commonly known as "Kristina". Scientific name: Karlina

Kristina photographed by Rebekah

Erin Michelle posted this drawing.
It makes me feel things, I think it's very good.

If you feel things and think it's good also, you are able to buy this from Erin's Etsy shop.

I will be working with the creative genius Kai Smythe on a sweet photo/illustrato combo this week. Can't wait to give this to your eyeballs so that they may see it. 

Previously mentioned genius, Kai Smythe photographed by Rebekah (I'm Rebekah).

Have you ever wondered "Why Saint Damascus, what does that even MEAN?"

Well, allow me to introduce you to Damascus.

On the topic of kitty cats, here's one that I am needing more of in my life:

It's everybody's favourite sushi-feind Courtenay!

 And here is a quick scribble for your troubles:

 Mucho Loveo, Rebekah

 

Don't Worry

ARTIST FEATURE: ERIN MICHELLE

Hello, let's all take a moment to appreciate the amazing talent of a dear friend of mine shall we?

Erin Michelle Art

Erin and I seem to sometimes share the same struggles*.

The most common one being DOING ART. JUST ...DOING IT! 

It's so easy to get/disheartened/lazy/over it, so it's great to see Erin creating some beautiful pieces again.

For my 19th Birthday I was super excited to receive this Erin Michelle Original on a paint colour sample. I absolutely love it!

Erin & I on my 21st Birthday.
SUPER FUN FACT:Erin & I share the same birthday!

Also, this one time, Erin modeled for me!
(Side note: If you haven't seen my photography yet that I'm a little shocked, please click here immediately!)

I have many more posts coming throughout the week, hopefully a couple more artist features also!

*say this 10 times real fast.