It is between the small foyer area and the courtyard garden of my building.
I walk through the courtyard garden to get to my apartment every day.
I walk through the open door to the foyer everyday.
A bird built it's nest in the wedge of space between the door and the wall.
I stopped and stared at the position of this nest for some time.
The bird flew away because I was so close.
I thought "This is not a smart place for a birds nest. This is a door, doors open and close. This nest is not secure."
I thought to myself "Perhaps...perhaps I should move the nest?"
Then the following thoughts happened in my whacked out head:
1. I am not quite tall enough to safely dislodge this nest.
2. What if I try to dislodge it and the mother bird thinks I am trying to kill her babies, and then she rightfully tries to kill me? Is death-by-mother-bird really the way I want to go out?
No. I don't think so.
3. What if I move the nest, and as I bring the nest down, the baby birds hatch, see me, and think I am their mother. Am I ready to be a mother to baby birds? Would I be willing to vomit up my lunch into their little squawking mouths?
No. I don't think so.
4. This door remains open 96% of the time. I have only seen this door closed maybe 2 or 3 times. I have lived here and walked through here for the past 300 days approximately. I don't know if the statistic makes sense because I guessed it.
I am not a mathematician.
5. If someone does close the door, is that natural selection? For building your nest in a doorway?
6. I will leave the birds nest here in hopes no one closes this door. Because I am not ready to be killed by a bird, and I am also not ready to be a foster vomit mother to baby birds. Besides, the nest is so big! People will see it, so they won't close the door. Because people use their eyeballs!
7. I am actually running late for work.
The next few days the nest remains.
All is well.
This morning I go to leave for work.
I hear the flutter of a birds wings.
Flutter or flapping? I don't know. Flutter is a prettier word.
I think to myself "I am sorry to startle you again motherbird!"
I look up to the trees in the courtyard to see a new nest!
This one is a little nest.
I think "Hmm, I wonder if the mother bird built a new nest, or if this courtyard garden is just prime property for the mother bird market? I wonder how much rent they pay?"
I walk to the doorway and look up to see the big nest is gone.
"It must be a new nest...I wonder what happened to the doorway nest though"
I look down to the ground and see the nest there. There are no eggs inside. My immediate feeling is relief.
Someone must have had the same thought as me, and removed the nest because it was a silly place for it, and also they were tall enough to reach it.
Mother bird has built a nice new nest in the tree tops and all is well.
Behind the nest the door mat is propped up against the wall.
Strange. People cannot wipe their feet when the door mat is up against the-
Then I see them.
The little blue egg shell on the ground.
Then I see why the mat is against the wall.
It has a thick yellow yolk crushed into the bristles.
My whole head fills up with salty liquid and heat.
I do not cry even though my eyes are like "yeah you're gonna", because I suppress my emotions before I feel anything too hard.
The unborn bird babies are dead.
And I inadvertently killed them. Negligence. Unborn Baby Bird Murderer Bekky.