Thursday, March 28, 2013

The Lady and the Tram: A Question and Phlegmy man.

A question:

If you're sitting on a crowded tram and a young man with a broken arm gets on, do you offer him your seat?

I have decided to set some criteria for this:

You should offer your seat to a young man with a broken arm when:
  1. He has lots of bags or 1 heavy bag. Having bags is awkward when you can use only one arm.
  2. He is having trouble balancing.
  3. He is giving you evil eyes and using mind powers to make you give him your seat.



This morning a few people on the 55 tram were full of mucus.

PHLEGM clogging up the nostrils, throats & lungs plagued my fellow public transportians.

One man who was sitting on the seat to my right across the passage had it the worst. This man had holes in his jumper and his shoes were all worn out, but he did not smell homeless so...?

Anyway, his lungs were a phlegmy mess. He had an inhaler which he would deeply suck in, then he would splutter and cough and phlegm-about (new verb?) all over himself. He was an older guy, but not really old. I think he looked older than he was.

From the moment he sat down across from me, he stared at me. The really rude uncomfortable stare. Like he's looking at me and he is not going to look away. He just continued to stare at me. Thankfully the tram became more crowded and his stare was broken by people filling up the passage between us.



One man, who was quite tall, got on the tram. I would describe him as a business dad. So he's a Dad, but he was wearing a suit jacket, so he was businessy.

He was holding something in his hand and because he was standing and I was sitting, what he was holding was swinging closely to my face.

That's just cruel man.
As the Tram began to clear out, Old Phlegm Starer was still to my right. He had stopped staring at me (not for long though) and was interested in the people sitting in front from him. A male and a female who looked between 20-25. The female was wearing a school girl-esque outfit. The male was wearing  a cheap suit jacket from the nineties and jeans (also cheap & nineties looking). They were a bit weird. When they got on the tram it was really quiet (aside from the snuffling & coughing up of mucus), so they made popping sounds and started to whistle. Whatever.

SO ANYWAY. Old "Phlegm AStare" decided to make conversation with them. I started to hear his mumblings and managed to hear him say "It's what's in the murder box that matters..." to which the weird people said "yep ok mmhmm" and at that point ceased any further contact.

He starts staring again. I pretend I can't see him. He looks away and says in an old scary monotone voice "Look around, leaves are brown, there's a patch of snow on the ground".


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